By Kelly Kazek
kelly@athensnews-courier.com
March 20, 2008 08:30 pm
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Remember when people not only locked their diaries, they hid them in their underwear drawers where surely no one except a meth-addicted robber or their moms were crazy enough to look?
Too bad no one wants to keep their daily minutiae to themselves anymore.
We live in a brave new world where people want to put their entire lives online – including everything from “my favorite color” to “how I cured my sexually transmitted disease” to “Dude, watch me funnel this beer.”
Reading the blog of a friend the other day, I learned she had been “running to the bathroom all night with a nasty stomach bug.”
Like any good Southerner, I sent up a “bless her heart” – right after I gagged on my Moon Pie.
Can you say, “too much information?” I get queasy watching Pepto-Bismol commercials and I don’t even know those people.
I have enough stress without wanting to read about someone’s every stomach gurgle or the content of their kid’s diaper online.
But for some, voyeurism has become a hobby. Witnessing others deal with life’s big questions, like what happens when you put a match to a mound of hair mousse, now serves as entertainment, which translates to a brand new stage where stars are born.
Enter Ashley Alexandra Dupré, the call girl allegedly involved with New York governor Eliot Spitzer.
Dupré’s MySpace page was accessed by The New York Times and dozens of other media outlets to let the public know what kind of woman was capable of bringing down the man who initially styled himself as an Eliot-Ness type crime fighter – and what made her worth $4,300 per, um, session. (She’s young, she’s hot, she’s for sale – mystery solved).
On the site, the 22-year-old blogs about her hopes of becoming a singer.
Now it seems her dreams may come true: The coverage in the press has drawn attention to her music, and she could end up with a recording deal. In addition, she has already been approached by “Penthouse” and “Playboy” to, er, model, which is always the first reaction to a woman involved in scandal. Well, unless she looks like Hillary Clinton.
It’s the new American dream.
The problem comes when someone posts things she may think are amusing at some point in her life – say a naked photo of herself slumped before the toilet in her dorm room, where she spent the evening with a hangover. That’s sure to impress her college buddies, but potential employers who Google her name? Not so much.
It’s difficult to hide indiscretions that come complete with photos and comment sections that say, “Hey, dude, remember the time we streaked through that convenience store? That was so-o-o-o sick!”
I mean, really, who’s gonna hire that whiney Don’t-Taser-Me-Bro guy, star of countless
Web sites such as You Tube?
It’s no wonder no one under the age of 45 runs for president. People of our generation had only documents to shred and sources to silence to hide our pasts.
How do you shred bits and bites?
Never fear, someone has found a way to make a buck from your soiled reputation that does not involve blackmail.
It was bound to happen.
For only a few thousand dollars, online reputation cleaners will polish your name until it sparkles. These companies clear your name by bombarding the Internet with positive stories about you so that they will be the first to appear when someone Googles your name.
Problem is, no one says they have to be honest. Trade a DUI arrest for a Student of the Month award. Go from dropout to class valedictorian.
I can envision a new type of company in the near future: Ones you have to pay to discern what’s real and what’s not.
Because what’s online is a lot like reality TV: 4 percent reality, 10 percent acting, 86 percent trying to make a buck by doing really stupid and embarrassing things.
I can only hope someday we get too grossed out to keep watching, and people’s lives can stay hidden where they belong – somewhere amid their underwear.
Copyright © 1999-2008 cnhi, inc.
Photos
Kelly Kazek