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Published October 31, 2009 04:01 pm - We in the newsroom are not the types to joke about someone’s misfortune. I mean, y’all know I try not to judge, right? But it’s not every day you hear a dispatcher tell officers to hurry to Elm Street where a man is swerving down the road driving his motorized wheelchair.

Think before revving up that La-Z-Boy


By Kelly Kazek
kelly@athensnews-courier.com

We in the newsroom are not the types to joke about someone’s misfortune.

I mean, y’all know I try not to judge, right?

But it’s not every day you hear a dispatcher tell officers to hurry to Elm Street where a man is swerving down the road driving his motorized wheelchair.

It can be hard to keep your dignity about you, especially when you hear the follow-up: “Caller said he’s throwing beer cans on the side of the road.”

We’re not completely heartless — we did mutter “bless his heart” once he’d been safely pulled over and disarmed of beer cans.

About a week later, we heard a report of someone driving a handicapped shopping scooter through a parking lot while intoxicated.

We never heard the outcome of these reports. I couldn’t tell you if the drivers were arrested or got off with a warning.

But I can tell you instructors leave out a very important piece of information at driving school: Anything with a motor becomes a motorized vehicle if you drive it on the road.

Sure, everyone knows if you’re caught drinking and driving a car, you will be arrested.

But has anyone ever warned you not to consume liquid refreshment before driving a lounge chair?

Apparently, no one warned a guy in Minnesota either — he was busted for driving his La-Z-Boy after imbibing eight or nine beers, according to the Associated Press last week.

How did he get caught?

He crashed his recliner into a parked car.

That sentence alone apparently caused police to think, “Hmmm. Reckon maybe if some alcohol was involved.”

After a test, authorities discovered the driver’s blood alcohol content was .29.



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