It’s that time of year — you know, the time when you faithful readers expect a mushy, tear-jerker of a column just in time for the holidays.?Yep, as if a Christmas movie featuring Dolly Parton stranded in a cabin with a bunch of orphans isn’t enough, many people look to me to be their own personal Hallmark Christmas commercial.?I am always happy to oblige, although y’all know it is not always easy to switch gears from my usual happy-go-lucky self to sappy and emotional.?These are the types of sacrifices I make for you.?Sigh.?So this year I decided to tell all of you what I am most thankful for.

Here goes:?• Hugh Jackman. Boy, am I thankful for Hugh Jackman. If the sight of that man without his shirt doesn’t bring tears to your eyes, I don’t know what will.?• One slightly undercooked squash casserole meant I was placed on the permanent veggie tray list for the family Thanksgiving dinner.

• So, I forget the veggie tray once — one time — and this is what I was told this year: “Just bring yourself.” I am truly grateful (and so is everyone else).?• I am thankful for the hippopotamus song. Since merchants start playing Christmas music before Halloween these days, “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” is perfect when you get tired of that longing for home, winter wonderland slop. Plus, any songwriter who can rhyme “rhinoceroses” and “hippopotamuses” is genius. ?• Despite numerous shortages announced — pumpkin, Eggos, even potentially and tragically chocolate — Milk Duds are still plentiful.

• I am grateful someone finally invented blankets with sleeves. Life was so much harder when we had to reach out from under the blanket to get to our Hershey Kisses. I’m glad my daughter has access to Slankets and Snuggies, and is protected from the hardships I had to endure, like a childhood without computers and chocolate-covered bacon on a stick.

• I am thankful I am poor, overweight and single this holiday season. I would be so miserable being one of those AIG execs, getting taxpayer bonuses for driving the business into the ground. What is left for them to strive for?

I have nowhere to go but up.?The No. 1 thing I am thankful for this year is a daughter who knows how to touch her mother’s heart.?Shannon recently complimented an outfit I was wearing, saying: “You’re pretty fashionable — for a mom.”?If only she could have stopped three words sooner, it would have been one of those memorable, Hallmark-type moments.?You know, the ones that bring tears to your eyes for all the right reasons.?Oh, well, I’ll always have Hugh.

Sigh.