Appeared Oct. 28, 2007

Whew!

What a relief. Crisis averted.

I could smell a fight brewing when some Limestone County residents recently raised a stink and some strategically worded signs about a local “doodie farm,” where human waste was being spread on crops as fertilizer.

Not only is this “humanure” unsafe, opponents say, it smells to high heaven.

Well.

I’m not sure how that fragrance thing got by farmers before they decided to use the stuff (Maybe they thought eu de toilet meant…nah.)

Is it any wonder their neighbors are flush with anger?

In case you missed it, here’s the poop: Officials at Synagro Technologies have agreed not to use any more processed sewer sludge on local pastures after Limestone County Commissioners sought an injunction, saying they’re not taking any crap. The company will continue to use “the product” on “remote” areas after it is worked into the soil rather than spread on top in an effort to reduce the smell. Better still, the processing company will seek to make the sewer sludge smell more pleasant in the future.

Good luck with that. They better get Martha Stewart on that project, pronto.

What seemed to bother people more, though, than the fact that someone past the age of 2 doesn’t know better than to spread doodie around, was the news that this particular, er, stuff, came from New York City.

It was like someone dropped a bomb.

You could almost hear the collective voice of the county raised in the high-pitched, disbelieving cry of the Pace salsa slogan, “This *#%@’s from New York City?!”